Date:  Thu, 20 Dec 2007 12:00AM PDT)
From:    John French <mosshead7@yahoo.com>
Subject:  Red Eye Needs a "Bill-rometer"
To:  redeye@foxnews.com
comments@foxnews.com, americasnewsroom@foxnews.com
Okay, say Red Eye's "Bill-ibuster" is a funny take on the annoying filibuster, however, as proved to me from your last show, what Red Eye really needs to cultivate and implement is a "Bill-rometer."
 
Of course, I don't suggest this actually airing on the show but used amongst yourselves when planing.
 
Here's how I imagine it working as follows:
 
a). if a female guest to sit at the table on the set is hot, she sits to the right of Bill.
b). if a female guest to sit at the table on the set is not hot but cool, she sits to the left of Bill.
 
Here's another way to look at it by using the two women at your table last show as an example:
 
a). if the female guest to sit at the table on the set is prettier than Bill, she sits to the right of Bill (i.e. Lauren Green).
b). if Bill is prettier than the female guest to sit at the table on the set, she sits to the left of Bill.
 
Lauren Green has incredibly nice legs and, in general, she's hot and, thus, it makes sense to showcase her attractiveness for the obvious ratings reasons.
 
What the fuck?! I thought we were beyond this idiotic bull shit by now?!
 
Personally, I don't care how cool and funny Amy is, I'd rather see the aesthetically pleasing Lauren Green to the right of Bill instead of a pair of "granny arms."
 
And, I'm not even superficial or shallow, I just knows what I likes.
 
Best of Christmas Roses,
Giovanni French

Poetry  By John Alan Conte`, Jr.
Copyright 2008
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